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jibblyuniverse:

derpfire:

jibblyuniverse:

frenums:

things that will always sound sarcastic

  • good for you
  • thanks a lot
  • yeah right
  • nice to know
  • wow
  • way to go
  • totally
  • ok buddy

Not if you say ‘man’ at the end

ok buddy man

I might not have thought that last one through



dogapult:

how come when someone decides to eat only fruits and vegetables people commend them for their “willpower” and “diligence” but when i decide to eat a diet composed entirely of mozzarella sticks and vodka suddenly i’m “out of control” and “putting myself in danger”


nintenclo64:

homostatus:

how about you take off your 

image

how about 

image


laterinthecaveoflesbians:

nepetalast:

sheyna-sterling:

pissy-little-aquarius:

why are parents allowed to yell and scream at their children and call them names and just make them feel like shit in general…

but when kids try to defend themselves…. its disrespectful?

what kind of fucking shit parents do you have

is this a new thing to you

Man you are one lucky son of a saint if you’ve never felt that. Give your mom a foot rub.


lutherandb8r:

*in cross examination*

Person 1: How did a poor economy lead to WWII?

Person 2: You’ll have to ask Hitler about that.

*talking about turning impacts*

*big black debater in grandma voice* Back in my day.. WWII was bad.

*cross examination again*

Person 1: If this is a really good plan…


starshinesteve:

if you dont think little kids are amazing you are dead wrong because a 7 yr old just talked to me for an hour about how jack from titanic survived and became the ruler of of an elven kingdom and his son turned out to be tarzan


  • police officer: you're under arrest for shooting someone in the chest
  • me: whoever made the rhyme did the crime(:
  • police officer: haha i have to give you credit for that one dude you're off the hook


Normal people talking to forensicators

lutherandb8r:

image